Do you ever feel like you hear the words "just be more grateful (or positive) and things will change!" But something still isn't shifting or working? I talk about my experience finding a gratitude practice that sticks in this post.
We hear it's important to be grateful. Even life changing. But have you ever found yourself trying to be grateful and something just isn't working? Maybe you've made the gratitude lists, even tried to start your day on the positive side of things. Still the mind races and it feels like you're getting nowhere. Well, this was me. I'm sharing in this article why being positive is a waste of time and how to really cultivate gratitude in your life in a way that sticks.
I started out really trying to cultivate a practice of being positive about things in my life about 6 years ago. I read the spiritual self help books and wanted a life that felt more whole. It wasn't until I hit a wall within myself and decided to ditch being positive that I eventually found a life-changing practice. The reality that being positive wasn't going to work happened when I had to grieve more than I ever have when my dad passed on. Yes, I had tried my best to grieve jobs that didn't work out and many other moments in life. But I had never needed to really face my emotions before and being positive wasn't going to work.
What truly helped me was to throw out the idea of being positive at all. This is a practice so many of us need. I think our emotions make us uncomfortable and so we try and say things will work out or try and give some other advice that really doesn't end up getting to the core of our needs. For the fist time I think I was fully feeling my feelings. Things were coming up for me and so many emotions. I had no other choice but to really experience them. Doing this was so freeing I applied it to all areas of my life. Everything. Any time an emotion came up I didn't attach any sort of story as to how I "should" feel. I just felt it, I just witnessed it. Then, the paradox was, I felt so whole. I felt the wholeness I was striving after with positivity.
If you are trying to cultivate a gratitude practice, it can be helpful to notice and appreciate the things around us. But feeling our feelings first, or when we are feeling like we can't be grateful, is in fact a part of being grateful. We mourn what we had out of gratitude for having it. When we're ready we can let the newness of life come in. We can't hold on and let go at the same time.
After I started doing this practice I no longer needed a list of things I was grateful for. I started living in gratitude. The gratitude lists didn't work for me because it was only my focal point for either the beginning or end of the day- I wanted something long lasting.
If you are wanting to cultivate a gratitude practice I invite you to move beyond making gratitude lists and really feelgratitude as you move through your activities each day. It's possible other emotions might come up while you do this, but just gently guide yourself back to a resting point in gratitude. Or, feel them as a practice of gratitude. Try having a baseline of gratitude as you wash the dishes for the meal you just had, put things away to enjoy your home, or prep for your day and the tasks at hand. Really feeling gratitude each day has helped me feel a depth of wholeness and be more in tune with my self and my life. I invite you to try these methods and I hope you find a gratitude practice that speaks to you.
PS This month I'm offering my Miracle Mindset Course! In this course you'll look at your mindset habits to release any blocks within to find flow and live a more authentic life. If you're ready to go deeper with this material through meditations, mindset work, and journaling visit the link below to sign up... Doors close May 19!
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