Are you ready for more intimacy and less disconnection in your relationships? I share how I got real about taking responsibility for the amount of love I pour into the relationship with my mom. Read to the end for an affirmation to create a permanent shift.
The reality is each of us has the power to create big change in our lives. Any situation that feels like it’s in conflict, or in a pattern of who’s right and who’s wrong can be changed. The way we see people and experience them can change. This is true power. We’re no longer stuck in a place of the world being done to us, we are the creators of our experience. This is what can shift relationships, bringing about more love.
A Course In Miracles tells us we are at the cause, not the effect, of our experiences and our life. If we are at the cause, then how we experience people and our circumstances is huge. We are no longer a victim in situations, we have the power to transform our relationships.
After I started doing this work and coming back to training my mind to see situations differently, I really wanted to work on the relationship I had with my mom. There were times we butted heads and I wanted greater connection.
I knew I had to let go of my smallness, of wanting to control outcomes, seek out approval and instead, celebrate the life that wanted to work it’s way into my experience.
I started doing deeper inner work- letting go of situations that felt like I was experiencing lack to tune into a deeper love within myself. This process allowed me to fully live the idea that we don’t need to change each other. It’s also possible to speak your truth and let go of controlling outcomes at the same time. For example, it can be so powerful to share where we are coming from and speak our fears out loud. I had a big fear of not feeling accepted and shared that with my mom.
Our minds will tell us if we share our fears we may not get love or we might feel rejection. But the truth is when we share our fears, they start disappearing. When I shared my fear with my mom, we had the chance to talk about it and really see each other. It created more intimacy, not less. It can be so powerful to share our fears with each other and dissolve the feelings of separation in relationships.
After I did this inner work I started to see my perspective of my mom shift. I really enjoy talking with my mom, spending time with her, and appreciating who she is even more now. There are characteristics that stand out and make me love her in new ways. The inner work I did and the tools I used got me to this place.
If you’re wanting to transform your own relationships, then try this tool. You can use this with people at work, your loved ones, or random people who push your buttons! I use this if my mind is caught in conflict and helps me see people for who they really are. This tip comes from a Course teacher Maria Felipe and it works so well! Gently in your mind say to the other person when you're wanting to see them in a new light, “I bless you, I love you”.
The way you see them just might start to change and with it, the outcome of your situations.
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